cringe is in, say thanks to Doechii 🙏

And timmy!!

There’s been a lot of talk on the Tok lately about Gen Z’s intense fear of being perceived. The mere concept of being mocked, teased or embarrassed isn’t just unpleasant — it’s paralyzing. So, instead of taking risks, they follow trends. Instead of following their passions, they stay the course.And if you wanna ask the boomers if ignoring their true dreams and aspirations were a good idea… uh please do. Ironically, this has made Gen Z one of the most critical and cautious generations online and IRL (SOS).

I adored this deep dive video that I thought explained it SOO WELL but i think there’s even more because I get it — discomfort breeds fear, and fear shrinks the possibilities of how you're “allowed” to exist, what paths are “appropriate” to follow — whether that’s about your dreams, your clothes, your taste in music, WHATEVA.

It’s quite literally the exact reason, conservatives take up issue with any “progressive forces” — Shame occurs when we stray away from what is deemed “socially acceptable.” And to avoid feeling shame, they must deem it as wrong, bad. They come to fear what they don’t understand. The LGTBQIA community?! Over time, that fear hardens into a very narrow, very curated lane of “approved behavior.”

Which has lead to everyone (not just Gen Z’s) obsession with MAINTAINING CONTROL over your image. We obsessed over having the perfect, aspirational instagram photo - showcase only the things people can be envious of - the great outfit, the dream home, the chicest vacation.

But to those who do still take risks? It often results in pure disdain from their peers. I’d say that this disdain is really just high-key, low-key seething jealousy.

Which tracks considering Gen Z’s has become pretty open about their dreams of living during peak millennial years — the obsession with GIRLS, 2015 LA, clubbing, emo phases?! It makes sense because we came of in an age and time when being cringe was a rite of passage. We can look back at it with a chuckle and nostalgia instead of a pitted stomach of regret and shame.

I’d argue though that the fear of being perceived has always been here, for all generations — shame is a feeling worth wanting to avoid and yet the algorithms for brought it to the front of the class with back full-force.

We millennials got to be weird without millions of eyes watching, judging, commenting. Yes, we had the internet but we were posting our breakfast with an absolutely heinous instagram filter over it for our ten friends. We posted regrettable Facebook statuses, created long-gone youtube skits, wrote tumblr fan-fiction to rave reviews and community support. There were no stories, no lives, no seven second opinion text takes where your point can offend anyone it doesn’t directly correlate to (BEAN SOUPPPP BABY) Your reach was relatively limited and if you wanted to grow your audience, you really had to work for it and be like very attractive, very rich, or very very funny. That gave us room to experiment, mess up, and not care — a freedom Gen Z never really got.

The algorithm of shame

Gen Z has grown up in an era where every awkward phase, every misstep, every “I’m going to reinvent myself” moment can be screenshotted, stitched, and turned into a viral meme before lunch. Normal social cues are out the window on today’s internet. “If you have nothing nice to say, best to say nothing at all” is not an abided by internet ideology which means the chronically online sub-culture THRIVES (this is also one of the many valid complaints of dem party people too).

Today, you can land on the FYP of millions of random miserable, mouth-breathing strangers for simply mispronouncing a word. These mouth-breathers are often desperate to make you feel as sad and lonely and insecure as they do. Whether they’re shaming you, calling you stupid or “CRINGE” — it’s almost always a complaint about not living up to whatever purity standards they have launched onto the world… that I highly doubt that manage to live up to in their day-to-days.

When these tech bros decided to transform their tools from social connection apps to entertainment platforms the internet became a place where everyone is the main character and everyone else is open to dissect other human’s missteps in real time. There’s SO very little grace.

So, the idea of stepping out of line, potentially misspeaking, TAKING A RISK?? I get why it’s paralyzing and yet I cannot stress enough…

if you have big aspirations, bigger risks are required

And if your aspirations involve working in the arts… which I am assuming most of us here have some semblance of interest in?!?! Or like please comment and let me know your passion because I’m so curious as to how you’ve read this far, I appreciate you!! In the most ideal scenario - you will have no choice but to be perceived. Whether your short is accepted to a fest, your tv pilot gets picked up, you get cast in as a series regular in a new Netflix show or your feature goes into production - to get those things, you need to share with the world - your most inner thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Otherwise all you’ve got is art in a vacuum. And I suppose the real perfect scenario is that you are perceived WELL 🤠 but as Dita Von Teese said…

“You could be the juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be someone who hates peaches.”

And if you’re one of the billions of folks feeling trapped in the complete fear paralysis of being perceived, I hope you keep reading and maybe feel a burst of motivation and freedom to take whatever leap of faith you need.

Because it feels like there’s something in the water recently…