Networking 101
or as I like to call it... a skill I really do not know how to utilize because i am too much of a wimp!
Y’alll this was a highly requested piece and it’s probably on the topic that I least engage with in my career 🫠 because as Miguel Martinez and I talked about earlier this week…
It’s quite hard to be and attain the perfect trifecta of skills needed to get shit done in this industry:
Creativity
Business acumen
A strong dash of bravery x audacity to make some big asks and take big swings.
Earlier this year I made a promise to myself that once I locked in three projects that I felt super excited about (as listed below) I would start putting my network to good use.
A pilot - almost there….
A short story - ✅
A feature - MERP
Because yes… I know NETWORKING is the “most important” part of making it in this industry but I am insanely awkward. I hate it because it feels icky and I lack the confidence to ask for favors lol. I rarely ask my friends to read my scripts, although I know they would. I don’t cold email, although I’m told I should, I don’t enter contests even though I know it’s good practice, and I think the word networking in and of itself is inherently bad.
I also think part of my hesitation comes from not knowing which of my projects to hang a favor onto and also… I get a good amount of my own incoming requests and a lot of them boggle my mind. It’s oftentimes comical to see how well people perceive that I am doing…
Do you need an assistant?
Can you produce my short?
Can you send this very fancy exec my script?
Can you send me examples of demo reels? (huh?)
The answer is usually... no. Not because I don’t want to help—but because I’m just trying to keep my own head above water. I’m working, paying bills, writing, rewriting, and trying to make something coherent enough to justify asking someone else to spend their time reading it.
ALL THATTT to say, I think you can “network” in a plethora of different ways and you’ll never know which way is best until you try them and see what kind of luck life has in store for you.
I’ve also written articles in the past that could probably use a bit of a refresher but I think they’re a good basis to dig into too that can be of us:
What is Networking?
When I meet folks who are not working in the film industry or have no connections to the industry and they ask me about "networking" I often feel like what they are really asking is this… how can I get an agent or manager who can land them pitch meetings? Or a meeting with a producer with enough credits to get their script read—hell, maybe even Shawn Levy?
Because the dream isn’t networking. It’s meeting powerful people. Finding someone who can get your script into the hands of a decision maker, who subsequently falls in love with it, writes a check, and helps assemble the team to make the movie. GWORL SAME!
The reality, though, is that those agents, managers, producers, and executives are already juggling clients, projects, meetings, development slates, and their own ideas. They’re difficult people to reach and the chance of you, me or really anyone being that one in a million… is just that.
Cold Queries
Half the industry will tell you cold querying is completely useless, pointless, rude, green, etc, etc. and the other half will tell you that’s exactly how they found their manager. Both things can be true because this is show-biz baby! Where everything is made up and the points don't matter!!!
Well… like they kind of do… or they can. Querying is a numbers game. If you send 100 thoughtful, smart, personalized queries and 5–10 people respond, I’d consider that a huge success and if you’ve got no connections, then you’ve got nothing to lose.
But if you don’t get a response? I’d let it go. I’m not much of a follow-up person on cold queries. If they’re interested aka… they think you can make them money… you’ll know.
Some querying notes:
Do your research
Know who you are emailing!! Know the client roster, their best films, their worst films, your favorite film of theirs. Know the most recent news about their projects and company.
Ask good questions
Instead of “can you help me?” “can you read this script?” try asking pointed questions. “How did you get your first staffing gig on XYZ show"?” “What do you look for when you’re interviewing an assistant?”
Your own network
People often imagine networking as a kind of speed dating experience where you meet up with strangers for a coffee or a drink and they’ll have the answers you need.
When in reality, your first connection is probably someone you already know. Maybe it’s someone from high school. A college classmate. Your cousin’s cousin’s roommate. They could work in production accounting. Be someone’s assistant. Run marketing campaigns for a big studio.
Even if that someone isn’t in your dream job— they could know someone who is. Every conversation teaches you something. Every introduction expands your network and those become warm “referrals” when a friend asks me to chat with their cousin about working in the biz, i am 95% more likely to do it than a cold DM. It’s just the way it works.
Do favors
This is probably my favorite form of networking because it comes easy to me. I know that I am a hard worker and I have a lot of tools, skills and knowledge to give to others and once I’ve been able to help someone. I feel a LOT better about asking for a script read or a piece of advice, a coffee, etc.
If there’s someone whose career I admire or someone I’d love to know better, my first instinct isn’t, “What can they do for me?” It’s, “Is there anything I can do for them?”
Often times that comes in the form of making pitch decks or helping folks with their social campaigns. Those are places I feel confident in that a lot of others don’t.
Sometimes it’s reading a script and giving feedback. Other times it’s sharing a fundraiser, reposting their trailer, or simply celebrating their wins publicly or privately. Just letting someone know you’re rooting for them can mean a lot.
Make stuff together
If you’ve got the free time and the mental bandwidth. Think about how you can show up for folks.
What is your expertise? Do you just love being on set? Offer to PA or boom operate. Are you a great script doctor? Offer to read and give notes. Are you organized AF? Maybe you’re a producer. Help with casting.
Let people know that you’re open to working in any capacity that you know you’re good in and people will think of you when the time comes.
Personally for me, if there’s someone I want to work with or a friend-in-need, I’ll be there — pay or not because I know the experience will be worthwhile. Time is our most valuable asset because we can never get it back but I think when it’s someone you care about, it’s worth it. Some of the best creative partnerships started because someone helped carry C-stands at 1AM.
Create community
This is probably the biggest mindset shift I’ve had—and honestly, the one that’s made me kind of stop call it “networking” all together. I’m just trying to find homies lol.
You’re not climbing a ladder. You’re building a table—and hopefully one that’s big enough for all your friends and collaborators to pull up a chair.
The thing is, building that table takes time. Networking is a lot like dating. You’ll meet a lot of people who are perfectly nice, even lovely!! but you don’t quite click. Maybe your tastes are different. Maybe your work ethic doesn’t align. Maybe you simply don’t have much in common beyond wanting to work in film.
And then, every once in a while, you find a “your type of people” person. The writer who laughs at the same weird references you do. The director whose taste overlaps with yours. The producer who gets excited by the same kinds of stories. Those relationships are rare, and they’re worth investing in.
One quote I think about a lot is: “Be interested, not interesting.”
People can smell transactional networking from a mile away and it’s soo ick. Whenever I work up the courage to go to networking drinks or grab coffee with someone, I try to remember that my goal isn’t to impress them—it’s to get to know them.
Where are they from?
How did they grow up?
What kind of stories do they want to tell?
What movies made them want to work in this business?
What’s their favorite piece of fan fiction they’ve ever read? (You’d be surprised how much you can learn about someone from the answer.)
The best conversations feel balanced, natural. Please for the love of god no monologues or pitches.
And then ideally the people coming to sit at your table today will become the people you’ll be hiring, recommending, collaborating with, or celebrating five years from now.
Put yourself out there … physically
Go to panels, screenings, festivals, filmmaker Q&A’s, events in NYC and Los Angeles with agents, producers, writers. Listen to them, learn from them. Some will be pay-to-play and people will say it was worth it. Someone else who went to the very same event will say it was trash. You won’t know till you try them.
Find your writers group, monthly table reads. film collectives. Take an improv class, a directing labs.
Some will be free and the best thing you’ll get from any of these, IMO, is meeting fellow filmmakers in your “talent bracket.”
Put yourself out there … digitally
There’s that age old adage that if you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done is… very true.
I’m living that reality right now. All I want is to write television. Traditional television. But deep down, just knowing how difficult the industry is right now, I just don’t know if that’s how I’ll break through. Each day it feels like the reality is going to be that ’ll need to write, direct, and produce a short—or maybe even a vertical series—and put it into the world myself.
And you can say you don’t want to put your face on camera, that’s fine. There’s loads of people utilizing the online world of social media profiles as their portfolios.
stay in touch
This is probably the part i am WORST at. If there is someone you’ve networked with that you want to work with - maybe it’s a fancy producer or actor, whatever. Keep tabs on them!
If you see their new show has come out, shoot them a quick email of congrats.
If you see a book they love, shoot it over to them.
Relationships are about repetition.
I think it’s important to remember no matter what your room your in, your goal isn’t to meet the most important person there. I have been to SO many parties where people rush towards the most famous actor who wanted nothing to do with them or only decided to be interested in me when they found out who I worked with. I remember those interactions and it’s all kind of sad, and lame.
The goal is to bring yourself to the space and what makes you, you. Are you the person who tells the best stories with stellar comedic timing? Or the one who asks the thoughtful question. The one who knows the random trivia answer nobody else can remember. The one who introduces two people who should know each other. The one who listens more than they talk. We remember the people who made us feel seen, made us laugh, or made tus glad we had the conversation.
Some past articles that might be of interest too:
So many great insights here! It’s really surprising to hear you say that you don’t think you’re good at networking when you’ve build such a strong online community and engage in script read clubs and events! It seems like you’re crushing it. I often look to someone like you and think “dang I’m not doing enough”. Your platform and output is super impressive.
Great tips for networking in highly transactional environments. I've been lurking your online community for awhile just because I'm not sure where to start with building community so this was great advice.